I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
