then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
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