So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
