It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize