It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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