I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize