we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
