BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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