Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
