I want to stick my p in your. b.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
