would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
