I got chris browned last night
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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