Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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