this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i can't believe i had my finger in that
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize