you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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