If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
