the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
