I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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