similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
