I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
nutella sex= disaster
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
