omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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