just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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