So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Farmville is her only friend.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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