He disabled his match.com account in front of me
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
