And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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