So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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