I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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