what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I lost the right to judge tonight
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
