i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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