I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
