I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
