i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
your room smells of hookers.
And success
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
