he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
