you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
