WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
