8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
