I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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