we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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