she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
