is your mom at the bar?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
