mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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