I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
