No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
