Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
