Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
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