Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
