My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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