a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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