those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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