But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
