I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
