I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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