the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize