she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Your tits are I can't wait for
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
