Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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