I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
