Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
