Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
