Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
